New Beginnings
by lmeva
Summary: How will Bella choose if she has to start all over?
1. Chapter 1

Ok here goes...be gentle. But at the same time, tell me if its worth my time attempting this! Some of you out there are MADE for writing, and I know some of us aren't! So let me know if this might work for me:) I'm not super tech-savvy, so keep that in mind. I may or may not make some changes to this, but felt I needed to get the start out here while I still have the guts!

I own nothing about Twilight! Aside from my own copies of the books and movies!

* * *

><p>I wrestled with the feeling of being wrapped in a heavy fog. Every part of me felt sluggish, like I was swimming under water and everything around me was slightly out of focus. Was I dreaming? Where was I? I concentrated on the puzzle surrounding me, slowly trying to bring the bits together. Something was just out of my grasp... I felt <em>it,<em> whatever _it _was...I could feel something pushing at the fog around me...trying to find a way in to me.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The first thing I noticed was my inability to move. It wasn't the kind of panicky not being able to move though...more like being wrapped in a heavy warm blanket on a cold winters day. As that thought reached my brain, the second thing I noticed was how incredibly _warm _I was. As these two details tangled around, and I tried to figure out what they meant, I noticed something else. Or rather, nothing else. I felt like I was missing something and I needed to open my eyes and figure out what.

_Come on and open up eyes! You're supposed to be listening to me! Ugh, must have been some hell of a dream if my own body parts don't want to wake up! _

It took some arguing, but eventually my eyes obeyed. HA! I smiled quietly to as I reminded myself who was really in charge here...and then froze.

**JPOV**

_Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

_Please! I'll do anything! Please...Wake up..._

This has been my waking thoughts, my dreams, the last thing I say before I lose the fight to close my eyes at the end of every day for the last 4 days. I begged to every God I've ever heard of, and some I hadn't. I made pleas, and deals, and the odd threat when the anger took over the pain. All to no avail.

Charlie and Billy tried to get me to go home once, but they gave up quickly when I stared at them like they were stupid. I did give in a few times to showering in the private bath attached to Bella's room. I had just had one of these showers, the fourth day of what I have started to call Hell on Earth. I walked out of the shower after tugging on a fresh pair of jeans and a black t-shirt Embry brought on his last visit. I opened the door, my breath held, just hoping that I would look to the narrow bed and she'd be smiling back at me. I'd give anything for her to make some crack about...well...anything really.

_Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

_Please! I'll do anything! Please...Wake up..._

But, just like the last 1347 times I'd repeated those words, nothing happened. Just the ever-droning machines in the background, beeping and whizzing, telling the world that there was nothing to do but wait.

_And wait I will..._I thought to myself. I may not have the centuries of practice that the leeches have, but I love that girl, and I WILL be here for her through this. _Even if she doesn't know it..._

I looked out the windows in the room (as Charlie's daughter, she warranted the best view in the hospital) and chuckled softly as I saw a clear sky and the sun starting to rise. Not the usual here in Forks, where the rain was ever-pouring. This means the bloody Cullens won't be visiting Bella today! Bella would have scoffed and berated me for my immaturity, but I just couldn't help the snide thoughts that crossed my mind!

_HA! Hope you are close enough to hear this Edward! Just me today! Better run for cover, the sun is winning the battle today!_

It crossed my mind then, how double-edged those words could be. How Bella used to call me her personal sun...I stepped closer to her bed, where she was curled on her side, her hair splayed out, small tangles I ached to run my fingers through and smooth out. Looking around me, and remembering that I wouldn't have to share the room today with the stench of vampires, I climbed swiftly and carefully up on the bed beside Bella and curled myself around her. She didn't move, didn't twitch, and I didn't need the heart monitor to tell me what my own ears could hear...Her heartbeat didn't change a bit. I softly brushed the few tangles out with my hand, lay my arm gently over her side, and tucked my hand underneath her stomach. I may have anchored her, but she was the one holding my heart together, my soul together, my mind. Closing my eyes, I breathed in her scent and, though I knew it wouldn't change or anything, or make an ounce of a difference to repeat it over and over again...I relived the moment that brought us here...

_**The fighting was chaos. Vampires everywhere, wolves everywhere. Smoke and stench wafting through the air as small fires were lit to burn the vampires quickly, if we had the time. I ripped the head off one, only to turn and knock another backwards into a tree. He shook himself and smiled, coming back for more. I growled, and braced, more than ready for what he had planned. He feigned right, and I lost a small edge as he quickly grabbed a handful of my fur and swung around almost like a discus shot, pulling me with him. The arc was cut short, as Emmett barreled into the blood-sucker, causing him to lose a grip on me. My first instinct was to growl at Emmett, but I caught myself and gave a silent nod instead. He nodded back and we proceeded to rip the vamp to bits. I heard a yelp, and swivled to follow the sound. Amid the noise and the movement, I saw Leah in the death-grip of a blonde young leech. I could feel and hear her pain, as he prepared to squeeze her to death...Leaping over Jasper wrestling with another newborn, I darted toward Leah. She saw me, and through the haze I knew she could hear me as I told her to fight! She gave a powerful last kick, just enough to dislodge one arm from around her. I took the arm in my jaws as I came by, and it ripped off as I continued straight. I couldn't keep track of all the thoughts racing around as the pack fought, but I did hear Leah's,**_

_**'I had it Jake! I didn't need you...'**_

_**'I know, I know...' I replied quickly and prepared to join Sam as he trailed another newborn who was dodging and weaving in the treetops. It was Seth's heart-wrenching scream that changed my course. **_

_**'BELLA! Nooooooo!'**_

_**I turned and found Seth with my eyes, and watched as the newborn he fought with, had him hanging in the air, a smile on the cold face as he prepared to snap his neck. I followed Seth's tortured gaze, and saw Bella mere feet from them, running towards Seth and screaming his name. I felt, rather than saw, the vamps arm flick out and with little more than a twist of his wrist, send Bella flying back into a tree trunk 30 feet behind. **_

_**I don't even remember getting to her, don't remember the ones I massacred in my haste to get to her. I saw her fall quickly, too quickly, and lay still on the forest floor. That must have been a turning point for the fight, as next I was aware of folding my naked and bleeding body next to her, my wolf retreating as my voice screamed her name. Edward stood in shock next to me, and Carlisle fought his way through the wolves and his own family. Time seemed to move in chunks at that point, one second of silence, then someone shouting orders...must be Sam..**_

**_"Burn the bodies, Leah and Embry scour the ground and make sure we miss none. Seth and Quil, find Jake's shorts and all of...", his voice faded ino the background as I heard Carlisle's voice also issuing orders, _****_"Alice, get something to stop the bleeding. Emmett, help the pack clean up the newborns. Edward and Jake, don't move her yet. I need you both to be here with me, focussed, we need to get her to the hospital." _**

**_Next I remember is following her gurney into the ER, and both Edward and I being left behind the steel doors. He looked at me, and I looked at him. _**

**_"I'll go call Charlie...", I whispered and he nodded. Didn't even need to read my mind at that moment, as we were both thinking the same thing..._**


	2. Chapter 2

**CH 2**

BPOV

I froze. My eyes took in the large, calloused, tanned arm and hand that was currently wrapped around my stomach. Unless a miracle had occurred while I was sleeping, there is no way in hell I grew an appendage like that. It took me a few seconds, but without moving my head I deduced the arm was attached to whoever was curled around me and providing some serious body heat. Not that it wasn't an absurdly nice feeling, but I couldn't quell the rising of panic that started to bubble up from inside. Who would feel so comfortable with me, and me so comfortable with them, that he felt the need to sleep beside me?

_Why can't I figure out who this is? I SHOULD know, I should REMEMBER - someone who can lay with me like this. _

As these questions raced through my head, so did a million others...where was I? As I looked around, again trying to keep my head still so as not to wake whoever was with me,

_I am so not ready for that just yet!_

I began to notice the details in the room. White walls. Big window, white blinds, rain pelting the glass. Two generic black chairs side by side. A series of machines hooked to the wall, and ironically, me.

_Ok, I may be having some trouble remembering things, but I KNOW this is a hospital room! Next question...why am I here? One way to find out I guess..._

I slowly turned my upper body, which wasn't easy as the arm around me tightened. My eyes followed the muscled, deeply tanned arm, past the soft black t-shirt, across a wide expanse of shoulder and up a strong neck, a pulse visibly beating erratically underneath. I suddenly felt that whoever he was, he wasn't near as asleep as I had thought. Belatedly, a sense of embarrassment and a blush stole up my entire body. The arm shifted slowly, while I was lost in my mind, and I felt a finger under my chin, slowly pushing it up until I met his eyes. They were a warm, dark brown, the corners crinkled up with his bright smile.

"Hi...," the deep smooth voice said almost shyly.

I paused, and in the space of a second, I made a series of connections.

_He knows me. I don't know him. He's happy I'm awake. He's beautiful...I don't know him. I don't know him...'.Him. _

My face must have reflected the panic that I felt inside, because his face changed from happy, to concerned, and finally settled on confused.

"Bella?" he questioned softly. His hand ghosted my cheek and across my hair.

I took a deep breath.

"Who are you?..." I let the question trail off, not quite understanding why I let him touch me when I didn't even know him. It just seemed right though, and comforting, and I couldn't bear to make it stop just yet. The trail of heat he left in his wake seemed to calm the panic in my mind.

His hand snapped back, and he scrambled off the bed, straightening his t-shirt and running his hand through short, dark hair.

_Guess he wasn't anticipating that one. Huh. _I thought to myself as I watched him stand there, staring at me, opening and closing his mouth. I oddly mourned the loss of warmth and comfort he had offered, and though I felt awkward, I just couldn't help feeling like I was missing something.

I rolled over and sat up, taking note of the wires and IV hooked to me. Lifting my arm, I added, "And why am I here?"

He looked flabbergasted. He ran his hand through his hair again, sending spikes every which way. He shook his head, took a step forward, and followed it with another shake of his head and a step back again.

"I'm...uh..ok..you're in the hospital...I'm, uh, Jake...uh, lemme...um... lemme go get...ya.." and he walked out of the room.

_Well. That was helpful. _I took a moment to look around at my surroundings a little closer. Maybe something could fill in a few of the blanks. I felt the panic make a comeback, and taking a few deep breaths, quashed it for the time being.

_You can panic later. It's not going to help now. Look around and figure out whatever you can. You are better than a meltdown in a strange room. At least, I think I am..._I couldn't even remember if I was prone to freak outs, or the strong silent type. This might be worse than I thought...

_Focus Bella. _I shook the residual fog off, and looked closer. A towel was half-hazardly thrown over the back of one of the chairs. Another door was partly open, and I could just see a toilet and shower. Automotive magazines littered the floor by the chairs, and the bay window ledge. A stack of thick volumes was piled neatly on the ledge as well. They looked like they belonged in old-fashioned library. A black duffel half open and sprouting toothpaste out of a pocket lay beside my bed. None of that looked like it belonged to Renee. Where was my mother?

Well, it seems I've been here for a bit...

I heard multiple footsteps rushing down the hall, and then Charlie came flying through the door.

H e rushed at me, shocking me with a hug - a big, hard, fierce hug.

"Bella! Bella! You're awake!" He squeezed me tightly one more time, and I saw behind him, a group of people I didn't recognize who suddenly parted of Renee and a doctor to come through. Charlie let me go and I was squeezed again by my mom.

"Oh honey! We were so worried!" She spoke frantically, her hands running up and down my cheeks and gripping my arms.

I was very confused as to why Charlie was in Phoenix and who all the unfamiliar people behind him were. Before I got the chance to question anything, the doctor stepped up and smiled at me warmly. I puzzled over his pale skin (and noted a few others just as pale) – most people (my pasty self excluded of course) were tanned in this sunny city.

"Bella, it's nice to see you up again – you gave us quite a scare," he chuckled good-naturedly.

"What exactly did I do this time?" I asked, "It must have been a good one if Char- I mean, Dad, came down from Washington..."

I hadn't really noticed the noises in the background of people shuffling their feet and whispering until now – when it was suddenly, piercingly silent.

I looked around, waiting for an answer, and met the shocked eyes of everyone in the room. Everyone except the man I woke up in bed with...Jake. He was slowly working his way to the front of the group, slightly behind Charlie and next to a Native man in a wheelchair.

He put his hand on Charlie's shoulder and spoke softly, so softly I almost didn't hear him.

"She doesn't know me..."

His face was a myriad of emotions...the one that would resonate with me long after my eyes close tonight, is lost. He looked lost. Like someone had taken his favourite toy and he didn't know where to go or what to do without it.

The doctor quickly spoke up as Renee slapped a hand over her mouth and Charlie froze, his face a mask.

"Charlie and Renee, please stay. The rest of you - out of the room."

A tall, pale _(wow, I've never seen so many pale people in Phoenix before!) _guy with messy, golden brown hair stepped forward, facing the doctor.

"Carlisle-," he started, but was interrupted by the doctor.

"No Edward, not now. Everyone out for the moment. You will see Bella later." He softened his words with a sympathetic smile to this Edward and to Jake.

_That look was meaningful somehow...what I am missing here?_

I paid a little more attention to the people as they left the room. More pale, pale people, and contrastingly, very dark guys all dressed rather – _spartanly._ Jake pushed the man in the wheelchair, and he glanced back at me as he left. His eyes seemed to be begging me for something...and I strangely felt the unequivocal desire to grant whatever it was he was asking me for. I followed his eyes as they darted from me, to Edward, and found him staring at me as well. He looked like he was trying to search my soul, with the piercing way he focussed. He smiled slightly, just the corners of his mouth turning up, before following the others out.

The soft click of the door shutting seemed to bring me back. Renee and Charlie were looking at the doctor; Renee clutching my hand. I felt calmer than I think I should have, but I didn't want the brief panic I felt earlier to resurface.

The doctor looked at me, smiled again, and introduced himself.

"I'm Dr. Cullen, Bella. You've sustained a head injury and have been in a coma for 4 days," he continued on, pausing only briefly to monitor my reaction. I gave none, only because this is, aside from the coma, really nothing new to me. I've seen the inner workings of hospitals for as long as I can remember.

_Just another notch on my proverbial klutz belt! _I thought to myself, snickering at my own wit.

Renee squeezed my hand tighter and Charlie had a crestfallen, pained expression. He looked at little lost standing there.

"Bella," Dr. Cullen started, "You're in Forks. Not Phoenix.

NOW he got a reaction – my head snapped up, my hand reflexively pulled out of Renee's and I stared at both my parents, looking between the two of them for answers.

"Forks? Why am I in Forks? How...How long have I been here?" The questions came out slowly, but inside my mind was a racetrack – thoughts, questions, insecurities all having a field day crashing around.

Renee began, as Charlie still had a shell-shocked look, his brows pulled together.

"Honey, you've been in Forks for a year and a half...living with your Dad," she spoke gently, "Phil and I were travelling lots, and you needed stability for your last few years of school, so you agreed to live here." Her face showed guilt and pain. I have a feeling it was tough enough the first time we must have talked about this, let alone again, now.

Dr. Cullen gave me a moment to process all this – this apparent lack of vital information, a large chunk of my life. Charlie's face made more sense now. I didn't remember living with him for a year and a half...

I felt the panic bubbling up again, but fought it desperately. I needed to stay cool. I couldn't lose my shit right now. I'm normally the one looking after Renee, being strong and calm in the face of crisis.

"So...ok...," I took a deep breath, "how much time have I lost? When will I regain my memories?" I thought I sounded fairly put-together as I asked the questions. Both Renee and Charlie followed my gaze to Dr. Cullen, the same questions mirrored on their faces.

He cleared his throat and spoke mainly to Charlie, which made sense now that I knew I wasn't in Phoenix anymore. _Haha! "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!" _I couldn't help the sarcasm from invading my thoughts.

"Every head injury is different Bella. People don't always lose memories, and if they do, some get them back within days, weeks, months...or sometimes not at all. There is just no predictor for these kinds of things unfortunately. We will monitor you overnight, and then tomorrow send you home." He stopped, and looked at my parents before continuing, "I think its best that Bella stay in Forks, where most the memories she has lost were. I feel that might have the best response to trigger her mind to release the ones locked away."

I could see Renee biting her lip, and she took my hand again, rubbing circles on the back of it. Charlie looked at me briefly, and smiled sadly before nodding his head in agreement.

"I agree Doc. I think she would stay here, with me." He turned to Renee, "You and Phil are still so busy, and Forks is much smaller and less intimidating. The Doc is fantastic and we will take good care of her." He finished gamely, and looked at me for approval.

I smiled weakly. I didn't know my dad anymore...but apparently he knew me. I didn't know the people out in the hall, but they all looked like they cared deeply for me. I left mom and Phil once, I guess I could do it again.

"If this is where I've been, and it will help jumpstart my memories, I'll stay." I sounded stronger than I felt, that's for sure. Renee nodded, tears filming her eyes.

_There. Decision made. One at a time, right? One at a time._

Later that night, everyone long gone (I didn't have it in me to see those who had waited in the hall for me. I couldn't bear their explanations as to who they are to me, or me to them), I lay in bed and let it out. All the fear, all the panic, the sense of loss...I let it start slowly. A ball in the pit of my stomach. A slow burn up my neck and behind my eyes. A single hitched breath and a lone tear squeezed out of the corner of my tightly closed eyelid. It built and built; my chest getting tighter and tighter; until it burst forth from me. I sobbed, still desperately trying to be quiet – to not give away how much control I had lost.

Suddenly, a warm hand brushed down my cheek, taking trailing tears with it.

I startled, jerking my head up and wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands quickly. As my vision cleared, I looked into the same warm, brown eyes I woke up to. They held uncertainty this time, but also pain.

"I'm sorry," he whispered shyly, "I just can't stand to see you cry...I didn't mean to scare you." He stood there in front me, his hand now dropped to his side uselessly, white teeth worrying a corner of his full bottom lip.

I sniffled again, and smoothed my hair down as best I could before responding, "It's ok...I don't really know why it's ok...I don't remember you, but...but I have the feeling I need you right now." I can't believe I just said that to this gorgeous guy in front of me, but I did. And I meant it.


End file.
